DOMaInEVaLEnT

Intrepid it makes me, intrepid I go.
Faltering creeps along my rind.
It whispers its cruelty down my spine.
Intrepid is my screeching roar.
Combat the frailty cascading my core.
Saddled-tied, I quicken in.
Dare I lie. I lie again.

In her mind, there was his head, again, in profile, turning toward her, shadowed against the white suit and against the sun flaring through the window. This repeating and repeating from that time to this. He might have laid his hand on her hair, but that was not what she remembered.

This is a 100% true story. The return trip: 1000 miles without a cent to my name, was nearly as horrendous.

After a trauma from the past is revisited unexpectedly, an elderly woman can only respond with a small gesture to express her enduring love. A snapshot of the profound nature of buried loss and grief and the lifelong ripples of war.

At the park last week, you found a huge pile of poop. I don’t know what kind of animal made a poop that big, but you found it under a tree while you were running around. Some people might be grossed out by it, but you stood there examining it.

This is a mini memoir series covering my childhood growing up in the UK in the 80s and 90s. It focuses on a number of themes, but mainly on money. So put the Duran Duran on, pour yourself a Babycham, and press ‘play’ on my mixed tape of memories.

And when I told her I was Kenyan, she said, ‘Then I must marry you.’  I could feel myself blushing, my cheeks, my neck, my whole body was burning. I wanted to say yes, like the way they do in the movies, you know.

When I left there to come here

Permission to do a particular thing is to have the consent of someone in a position of authority. Granting permission allows us to explore opportunities, withholding permission serves to keep us safe, or others safe from us.

How could I not have understand this possibility? How did I simultaneously fear and not consider it? We said “the cats must be free”. That’s easy to say until you have to deal with the consequences.