I am on a journey you see, a journey into myself and towards living and loving with authenticity.

In August 2024 I went on a retreat to Bali to have space to be with myself. Gosh that sounds so cliché as I type it. But I got the answer to some of my what next questions. What next included writing a book and changing the pace at which I had been living my life.

Here I was, June 2025, and my writing was as stuck as ever, and the pace of my life was hurtling along at the speed of a fast train. A dear friend, the same one who had suggested the Bali retreat, suggested a writing retreat. And just like that it was all set in motion. When I boarded the plane to Paris, I was still in my stuck, exhausted state. But somehow, the fact that I was going on a retreat unfolded on that flight.

Ideas started flooding me and I was making furious notes, just feeling like something may have become unblocked. I was cautious, hopeful, and just a little desperate by the time I got to Toulouse. Patrick collected me from the airport. He and his family had moved to France from the Netherlands and had chosen a completely different life. I kept thinking on that drive from the airport to Montbernard, “People do this, they slow down, they change direction”. And then of course I got to Domaine Valent and met Amory, who had also broken the mould and is living a self-directed life.

I felt inspired before I even opened my iPad the following morning.

I woke up early despite a long day of travel the day before and felt a readiness that had eluded me for so long. I wanted to get going as soon as possible. Something had changed inside me. I did everything differently to how I had done it before… Almost as if I was living the life I wanted to be living in the form of how I was writing during that week at the retreat. With a freedom and lack of prescription, I started including the notes I had made on the flight.

I stood writing for most of the week I was there. This was a game changer. There was something about standing up and being able to move around while I was typing and thinking that got me into flow.

I played music most of the time and I danced. Yes danced.

I had never done this while writing before, but it just came to me to move my body every time I felt stuck or thrilled about a little piece I had written.

I also meditated a lot more. Meditation had always been a separate practice. But then I started doing it during the writing, especially when I was feeling a block of some kind. It helped so much.

And then of course there were those gorgeous morning walks in the countryside. Fresh air, feeling safe and unrestricted. This does something to the mind… unlocks it, frees it. It also just reminded me of how minute I am in the universe, a speck really, with those rolling, vast fields and the mountains in the distance. And at the same time, I felt an aliveness, a feeling of possibility.

This juxtaposition really helped. “Don’t take yourself so seriously, don’t take life so seriously” and “You are infinite, anything is possible, you are standing in your own way”.